the way back - nervous breakdown and all that

These past few days have been particularly difficult for me from a mental health point of view. I won't go into any detail but I have had another breakdown.  However, here is more proof that even in the darkest of times, to quote the great Leonard Cohen, “There is a crack, a crack in everything... That's how the light gets in.” “I’m not sure if you remember me but I’m [an old student from my previous school]. I just wanted to let you know how much you impacted my primary school experience and that to this day i still remember and appreciate you. I’ll never forget how you managed to convince my mum to let me go to [the end of year residential trip]. You helped me gain confidence and always told me i would be able to achieve great things. I have now finished secondary school, got good grades in my GCSEs and i’m now in sixth form studying A level Biology, Chemistry and Psychology, in hopes of studying Medicine at university. Anyways i hope all is well with you and your family and ...

Sometimes, you have a really testing week at school. You work flat out and yet fail to keep on top of things. External circumstances act against you. You have to deal with incessant behaviour issues. You then have to deal with the fallout.  And then: bam - it hits you: you begin to feel a failure. You begin to think: what’s the point? You doubt yourself. You feel burnt out. You feel desperately alone. And it eats into your home life. And just when you’re feeling at your lowest, an ex-colleague gets in touch with you and casts a ray of sunshine on things. This is what I received one evening this week: “I've met a couple of parents of children that you taught at [your previous school] and they absolutely love you, they said their children's school experience was extra special thanks to you! My most recent was this weekend, I went on rugby tour with my daughter and her team mate (…) and parents said, “Do you know Mr G? He’s amazing!” I just think what a credit to you and all...

After the odd comments from 25.02.24, this week began with another corker:  Mate, people are sharing screengrabs of this blog left right and centre at both your old and new school. And not in a positive way!  😐 Well now! Who would write that? It’s clearly not someone looking out for my best interests. And don’t they realise this is a public blog? It’s hardly hidden away in some obscure recess of the dark web. My feeling is it’s someone who is a little rattled. I feel (and having chatted to friends and ex-colleagues about this, I’m not alone feeling this) that these one-dimensional comments have most likely been written by one and the same person, with this latest one now trying out a new tone. There would appear to be an agenda: to make me seem a little ‘unhinged’ and a fabricator of tall tales. However, these comments are ironically only giving the blog more exposure and helping it reach more people. There has been a huge increase of hits these past few days a...

Oh, the fun that can be had with the haiku form - 17 syllables of freedom. I thought I'd take a break from heavy blog posts this week and just enjoy a bit of messing about on themes I've already explored more seriously in the past. ___   This first haiku was inspired by my previous head's insistence on not getting involved in staff's emotional duress. Upset staff If you shed a tear, Do not expect sympathy; Tissues should suffice. ___   This next one is a riff on the lack of accountability at my previous place of work. Nervous breakdowns One man down - who cares? Another four - who’s counting? No one seems to see … ___   This one echoes the head's dismissal of taking pride in one's work... Pride One thing is for sure, There is no place for pride here, Silly communist. ___   As Modern Foreign Languages lead, I was genuinely told to look into bringing Latin bacl onto the curriculum. Latin: that most famous modern for...

On 25.02.24, two comments were made within an hour of each other about a post I wrote last November .  Seeing as comments are relatively rare, this seems a bit of an odd coincidence.  Here are the comments: 1)  This is a little unhinged and erring on threatening I feel. The kids LOVE the head, there’s not loads leaving other than normal house moves away etc There’s been so many improvements since the head joined - new library, new play areas, new community initiatives. There’s discos, music night, everyone joins in . Teachers are great. Head is great. Parents are happy!! 2)  This is pretty threatening from a teacher at my child’s primary school. It makes you sound a bit unstable tbh. And I know loads of people with children at this school and they’re all really happy, so it’s just not true! These comments show a very shallow grasp and analysis of the ´whole story’ and Panglossian view of the school under the current head. I suspect that they were sent by the same per...

This week, I am putting up the longest entry ( by far)  included on this blog. It is a letter sent by the colleague I mentioned in my penultimate post: an esteemed teacher and reputable union rep who also suffered victimisation under the head at our previous school, and consequent unfair treatment from the governing body and council. It is so rigorously and powerfully written that I could not make cuts to it. I have anonymised it. I urge you to read the whole letter to get the full picture.  The collusion and dishonesty unveiled is staggering. Why has nothing ever been done to rectify this mess? All involved (the chair of governors, the DPO, the head, certain members of the council) come out of it looking like vicious, petty-minded amateurs – intent on covering up a lack of general decency. ________________________ 15th June, 2022 Dear [Director of Law, Governance and Elections], Re: confidential whistleblowing concern In your capacity as [the] Council’s Director of Law,...