the way back - nervous breakdown and all that

Today is a struggle. I have had issues with anxiety most of my life. I cannot and am not attributing this struggle to one single person. However, one single person made it a lot worse. Whilst working for her my dosage of antidepressants was trebled. And then, as I may have mentioned before (sorry), I had the nervous breakdown. I have suffered from PTSD since the episode and had two sessions of counselling. I am about to start my third. Whilst I am definitely healing, I still have the odd panic attack and/or down days - like this weekend. It’s the total lack of accountability. It’s the closing of ranks (leadership team, board of governors, council). It’s the unfairness. It’s the huge amount of energy spent on trying to get justice. It’s the slurs and slander. In June 2021, nearly a year after I left, and after many weeks of preparation, I informed the head of the board of governors that a large group of us were ready to officially blow the whistle. The reason for the delay was t...

Upon leaving, I also sent a goodbye message as union rep on our school's union WhatsApp group - with a few words of advice. It is a position I had taken very seriously. I was proud to represent and stand up for my fellow union members.  It was then leaked to the leadership team, and shared with the council. Not entirely sure why. I think it is all fair enough. Maybe the profanity at the end.  I'll let you decide for yourselves.   I still do not know who leaked it. As far as I am concerned, it is not the action of a genuine union member and goes completely against ethics and general decency. And why it was it then shared by the head? It can only be construed as pettiness - surely?  Oh, and I really do think laminating sucks donkey schlong...

Here is the letter I sent to the Board of Governors upon leaving. It was acknowledged but ultimately ignored. There has certainly never been any sign that the head was held to account by the governing body - as is its responsibility.  The DfE stipulates that governing bodies should be fully aware of their responsibilities when it comes to their staff  –  in relation to both employment law and equalities legislation  –  and also of the fact that those responsibilities are subject to scrutiny through employment law procedures. This is not the experience I have had. ________________________   Dear Governors, I write to you as a teacher who has spent seven years teaching at [the school], and who feels privileged to have educated the hundreds of children who have passed through my care in this period.  I’m proud to have helped (...) children to achieve some wonderful results. As a Year 6 teacher, I helped the school to reach its current position of 15t...

There was a huge churn of staff after her arrival.  As discussed in the previous blog, harassment and gaslighting was normalised through sustained victimisation focused on undermining skills and competencies.  This led to 5 medically recognised breakdowns due to workplace stress, and numerous staff forced out after long careers at the school and clear evidence of excellent results. Here is a summary of the staff turnover since 2017: 2017-2018   Class teacher left at end of year due to disagreeing with head's EYFS vision before she even began headship. 2018-2019   During academic year : Special Needs Coordinator’s contract not renewed despite excellent results and years of experience (replaced with inexperienced person from head’s previous school); Specialist reading teacher retired early after feeling poorly treated; Cleaning team x4 resigned after feeling poorly treated; Class Teacher x 2, one left at start of year and one retired early, after feeling poorly tre...

I did not even know what gaslighting was until 2018. I did not realise I was being gaslit -that we were all being gaslit- until after my breakdown. After a matter of weeks, a tangible uncertainty took hold of all of us. Most of us felt rudderless. Thankfully, we had each other and the children to keep us going. The first to feel the true nature of our new head were the rest of the senior leadership team. They were treated horribly: no trust, constant criticism - especially about their professionalism. People who had been teaching for years, whose track record was exemplary. They were trusted by the governors, by us teachers, by the community. One left at the end of the first year, one became institutionalised (for want of a better word). The last was on parental leave - upon their return, they were isolated in a blatant attempt to divide and rule. Then, sadly, the integrity of those that remained was compromised. We muddled through and eight months down the line, by pulling togethe...