the way back - nervous breakdown and all that

England is a strange place in many respects. We love to complain in this country and yet we very rarely take direct action when it comes to bigger things. We groan, we grumble, but we rarely act. I grew up in France. I am not saying the place is perfect. There are many institutional problems there. However, people will take to the streets far more readily than across the Channel, especially when it comes to workers’ rights. Why? I am sure there are myriad reasons. Maybe having more of an insular mentality has made us more prone to accepting the whims of the ruling classes. Maybe our own brand of liberalism has meant that people trust the ‘money’ over morality. Could it be that it partly due to the influence of living under a monarchy, however risible it may be? Added to this lack of action, many people in this in a country allow morals to be pushed to the side in favour of rugged capitalism, ultra-individualism: a philosophy of might is right - basically neo-Thatcherism. ‘Woke’ i...

Ah, that good old period between Christmas and the New Year: no real structure per se, and plenty of time on one’s hands to sit around looking at this and that on the hard drive, especially if feeling a bit ill. I have been idly looking at few documents that I was sent after I made SARs to my previous school. I have come up with a number of rather interesting mails from the chair of governors (CoG). They share a complete failure to address legitimate whistleblowing complaints: 1)      a letter sent confidentially (anonymised below) by a member of staff about toxic culture there at the time, following the ordeal in November 2019 which led to my breakdown; 2)      the CoG’s reaction to my having tried to blow the whistle in July 2020.   As GDPR seemed to be the main priority for the CoG, rather than staff well-being and safety, I will paraphrase and elaborate on the content of the e-mails instead of including them verbatim.    ...

It would be fair to say that most of my posts on here have a somewhat negative slant. After all, the whole basis of the blog has been to expose a toxic head teacher, with the odd foray into unwanted academisation, and dealing with loss.  So, I have decided to write the last post of the year in honour of my ‘person of the year': Angeline Morrison .  First and foremost, Angeline is a fantastic singer/songwriter. My partner and I discovered her after an incredible album of hers came out last year - The Sorrow Songs: Folk Songs of Black British Experience. I encourage anyone who likes folk to get hold of a copy immediately if they do not have it already. Her voice is beautiful; the songs are masterfully written and arranged. However, it is far more than just a delight for the ears. The songs are both tender and full of depth. It is a concept album, exploring the trials, tribulations, and beauty of British Black History over the past couple of centuries: tales of sadness but also a...

I was running yesterday. At my current school, we had a health and safety review recently. It's funny how the mind works: halfway through my run, I remembered a particular incident at my previous school linked to health and safety.  One day, an unannounced fire drill took place. Nothing unusual there. Knowing where pupils are at any given time is something that teachers take very seriously. The alarm went off: I followed procedure to the letter. I quickly got the children ready and realised that I was a child short. She had gone to the toilet, or so I thought... Time is of the essence in an exercise like this, so I led my class out to the playground. And then I got quite cross. Said child eventually turned up on the playground too and the poor thing got quite the telling off. “Where have you been?” “Do you not realise what this could have meant if there had been a real fire?” Etc. The poor child was crestfallen. It was at this stage, and only at this stage that I wa...

I see you.   I have not forgotten you and I sure as hell will never forgive you. It’s the fourth anniversary of my nervous breakdown. The one you orchestrated. The one that shut me down. The one which forced my uncomprehending children to see me in tears for days on end. The one which left my wife, family and close friends scurry around to pick up the pieces and help me function from one day to the next – lost days and weeks. The one that destroyed my confidence for months. The one that made me doubt myself for years. The one you evidently could not have cared less about.   They see you.   The others you made suffer. The ones you forced out: the ones who actually did make a huge valuable difference to the school. The ones you punished for not kowtowing, for not worshipping your non-existent pedagogical prowess. The others you pushed to nervous breakdowns. The ones who you forced to choose between friendships and obeying you. The ones who you damaged who did not e...

Just a little entry today, but I feel as if I had to share some pretty special news: I have finally located the pesky missing newsletter I mentioned over two months ago (‘ Of missing newsletters… ’ 30/07). It has miraculously just turned up on my previous school’s website. In October. Not that I have been checking frequently or anything… Funnily enough, it’s got a very interesting section about staff turnover - amid some lovely heartfelt words from the head that I am sure the leaving teachers will have mightily appreciated. (Previous teachers who left, including myself, barely got a mention – ho hum.) Check this out: After many years at [the school], we will be saying goodbye to [a number of teachers] at the end of term. They have given so much to our school and we wish them all the very best in their future endeavours, which, for most, will be outside education. […] This year, we have seen a higher than usual number of teachers leaving the school, mainly to leave the profession. This,...

The current head of my previous school was employed in the summer of 2018 – their tenure started in September 2018. One particularly perspicacious class teacher saw straight through them after a one-to-one with the head that summer. She handed in her notice shortly thereafter. And then: o    By the end of 2018-2019, 4 more class teachers had left (two halfway through the year): representing 24% of class teachers. At least 8 other members of staff also left. (12+) o    By the end of 2019-2020, 4 other class teachers left (including me) and 2 extremely well respected cover teachers: representing 25% of class teachers/ 33% of teachers. And a much loved TA. (7) o    By the end of 2020-2021, 3 more class teachers had left: representing 20% of class teachers. At least 5 other members of staff also left. (8+) There was also a restructure that year. Some allege that questions remain unanswered. I do not know how many others lost their jobs due to it. o ...