My lovely Kirsten

My friend and erstwhile colleague Kirsten has been in touch with me. She worked at my previous school’s office. She was one of three from the office team who left after being treated appallingly – all suffered mental distress, all were signed off with work-related stress issues. You would think that such a pattern would cause alarm bells to ring out. The board of governors and council have done nothing. Not in the public interest apparently.

K has allowed me to paraphrase a disciplinary letter she was sent; and to share a comment she posted online.

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Firstly, the letter: on 04.03.22, K returned to work after an extended leave of many months after a breakdown caused by the head’s treatment of her. Sound familiar? Later on that day, K was hand-delivered an ‘Informal Disciplinary’ letter.

The onus of the letter was the fallout of an ‘unauthorised absence from work’ on 20.05.21 (ten months earlier…) On that day, K had walked out in a high state of anxiety after being spoken to in an unacceptable manner – it had been the final straw after a long period of straws being thrust at her. Rather than completely lose her demeanour, and do something she could later regret, K decided to leave.

At this return to work meeting on 04.03.23, K, an HR rep and the head were present. The head explained that K’s behaviour and language had been inappropriate. She further accused her of demonstrating similar conduct of this nature towards other members of staff and parents on previous occasions. K was a very popular member of staff at the school. I am not aware of her having had any issues with other members of staff apart from the head – who is particularly difficult to get along with.

Nearly ten months after this incident, the head decided to take informal disciplinary action against K and to give her a verbal warning.

She listed a set of standards K was to follow:

-       model positive and professional behaviours at all times;

-       self-regulate and maintain professionalism;

-       interact and behave appropriately with all members of staff and school families;

-       manage workload effectively;

-       communicate regularly with the Head about feelings with the offer of support if needed, the head explicitly stated that her door was always open[1].

The head followed her open-door policy statement/offer of support with the following threat: should K breach any of the discussed standards in the future, the head would not hesitate in taking further action against her.

Such a kindly and caring soul…

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To the comment K made on social media after one of my posts on 05.03.23:

Funny how as the more time passes the braver and angrier I get.

I wish I could have my ‘back to work capability’ meeting now! I would have stood up and clapped her for the Oscar winning performance she made in front of the HR lapdog.

I was accused of lying, being unprofessional with colleagues and parents amongst other things (all absolute rubbish) and was told if I did manage to return to work I’d have a desk set up in her office so she could monitor me at all times! Perfect for someone with huge anxiety and work-related stress issues…

An hour after returning home after the meeting, I had a hand delivered disciplinary letter regarding my 2-hour unauthorised absence from work on the day I walked out. If I hadn’t left the building on that occasion, I probably would have been carted off in an ambulance wearing a straitjacket… No joke!

She also had the nerve to say that the office had run smoothly and efficiently since I’d been off on sick leave; things had never been better she said. This is definitely not what I’d been told by staff and parents[2]!

Anyway, that’s my RANT!! Love, xxx

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There we have it folks: another testimonial from someone who experienced a similar traumatic experience to mine at that school. It gets easier to deal with, but it does not go away. I would like to thank K for sharing. It takes guts. Everyone knows she is a good person – the accusations made against her were disgusting. 

Wishing you all the best my love, xxx

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[1] I had a similar offer after my return to work. Obviously, the head was the last person I would ever have sought out support from. All so depressingly familiar. The hypocrisy of it all.

[2] Numerous ex-colleagues and parents have corroborated this.