Fifty

Today, I am 50 years old. Just a number I know, but traditionally one is supposed to do some self-reflection. So here goes.   

A couple of weeks ago, I went out for pre-50th birthday drinks with a lovely set of friends that I had worked with happily at my previous school. It was a glorious evening full of laughter, animated chatting, embarrassing dancing and some rather good natural wine.

It is astonishing to me that most of these lovely friends had been labelled as the old regime by the current head teacher - including my much esteemed ex-head teacher, supposed purveyor of the 'Dark Ages'. You could not really wish for a more nurturing, creative and rigorous team of fine pedagogues.

I have now come to the end of my second year at my current school. I have become a part of its community: close to my pupils, their families and the staff. I am a union rep and yet am on fantastic terms with my current head. I am blessed to count her as a friend. I have even been promoted!

I am in a good place. I still have darker moments, but they pass relatively quickly. Finally, my breakdown and the one who precipitated it are no longer my main concerns. It has been a long but rewarding journey. I appreciate how lucky I am. I appreciate the help I’ve had along the way. 

I also appreciate that the ‘dark ages’ for me were very much spent under the aegis of the would-be innovative, but pedagogically challenged, sociopath who is still head at my previous school. This feeling I’m sure is shared by most of the other people who left (around the fifty mark I reckon by now). Also by pupils and parents: past and present (a number of pupils have transferred to my current school…)

It will sound cheesy, but I am now in the light. I am standing proud. I support others and others support me. I am a trusted and respected member of the community. A little rough round the edges and eccentric maybe, but that is me. And people like me. For who I am. And damn, it feels good. 

Apologies for stream of consciousness and happy birthday to me!